About me v2.0

Tantanoo is a very lonely person(like Tweet is a very lonely person. That way)

He is so lonely that he has a twitter profile, a facebook profile and he still uses orkut. If you dig deep you’ll find him on Hi5 and other similar crapsites too. In his free time(which is most of the time) he sometimes writes stuff for this blog(stuff like this) and makes webcomics at www.comicry.org, which is the most popular website in his neighbourhood.

 

His achievements till date include finishing a beginner’s level Minesweeper game in three days, winning an ipod nano in a silly contest and the like. He has deleted his personal blog four times in the last 5 years(if you are reading this, this one is alive).

 

He has taken engineering, medical, architecture and English literature entrance exams and has managed to perform badly in all of them. He’s got an engineering degree in Industrial Engg.(which he cleared with a distinction but knows zilch about). He has never been able to code a program to find the LCM of two numbers yet he is confident that he’ll one day work as a software engineer.

 

He used to drive a moped. Now he has a bike but he seldom drives at speeds greater than 50 kmph. He reads horoscopes, has never read the editorial of a newspaper and believes in what news channels tell him. He has seen some movies, read a few books, listened to some music, he has played a few computer games, he wrote some programs, cleared some exams – but he never got around to doing much good in the world.

 

He also knows nothing about football, doesn’t have a favorite team and has never played any football either. The only sport he has ever followed was cricket where in also he remembers neither facts nor figures. He cannot tell the off stump from the leg stump and is stumped when someone asks him what a googly is. However he can play Carrom, UNO and some card games with ease. He is also ignorant about Cars, F1, sports bikes and like but can form an opinion if Google is around.

 

For a part of his life, he wanted to be a superhero, thought he had superpowers that will reveal themselves with time but apart from the power to survive without taking a bath for more than a week, he doesn’t seem to have any other superhero traits. No, he doesn’t own any red underwear too.

 

He is a very peaceful person. Never fought with anyone in his life because he believes his calcium starved body won’t take well to fights and bruises. He almost lost his teeth in a freaky bike accident trying to save a dog. He got 15 stitches on his face, a fracture in the jaw and suffered a major drop in dowry prices too. He also believes he’ll lose most of his teeth before he reaches 35.

 

For the first 22 years of his life he stuck to a pandu hairstyle and then in the last year changed as many styles as he could. Every once in a while he does away with his hair because he believes that a bald scalp once in a while results in a better  crop(like people who believe that formatting their hard disks every weekend will keep their computer healthy or farmers who believed in shifting agriculture). *Yes, he also used ‘once in a while’ twice in the last sentence*

 

He is a firm believer in Copy+Paste and depends on Google to write most articles. Also he has recently been addicted to define: word in Google Chrome and his limited vocabulary has taken a major nosedive.

 

He has often been labelled as an un-friendly, non-team person and has been labelled as a good friend and team worker too. As new labels arrive he’ll update you about them. At the moment he carries the currently-unemployed, eternally sleepy, I-will-not-leave-my-room-and-my-laptop labels.

 

 

Tantanoo can’t:

1. look good or pose well for a photograph

2. type a letter/blogpost without any grammatical error

3. remember the meaning of  words like existential, preposterous etc.

4. paint or sketch without copying from a parent image

5. make a good first purchase(Examples include a 1.3 MP Digicam for 4K and more)

6. write in the same handwriting with different pens(his cheques are rejected because his signatures don’t match with his signatures. *grammatically incorrect but sounds so cool*

7. keep good news to himself

8.  dance

9. sing *though he has given some really embarrassing performances on stage*

10. spell Alanis morisette’s name correctly 7 out of 10 times, Spelled ‘independence’ as ‘independance’ on a wallpaper he made because Adobe Photoshop doesn’t have autocorrect

11. defeat Chuck Norris at anything.

12. solve a sudoku puzzle on a computer screen or mobile phone

13. tolerate the sound of a running tap

 

Tantanoo:

1. is not homophobic

2. reads magazines from the last page first(for obvious reasons)

3. wants to make a teleshopping commercial one day

4. gives sleep a priority over anything unless he has something creative(even if remotely) to do

5. memorized parts of the Merchant of Venice for an English viva voce once and still remembers those lines

6. is very careless about being punctual and doesn’t really care about it

7. can read a Sherlock Homles story, a Harry Potter book and a Hindi comicbook at any time *even between important semester exams*

8. detests sms lingo and tryz 2 avd it afap

9. has seen Vivah thrice and survived to tell the tale. He also survived Aage se Right and Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag(#36 on IMDB Bottom 100)

10. is extremely bad at mathematics(his worst nemesis) and spellings(his second worst nemesis) and grammar(you get the idea)

11. doesn’t own a digital camera. Quick, gift him one!

12. owns a towel that has Tweety on it. Now who would have thought of that!

13. can drink insane amounts of tea and coffee

14. hates going to places where he doesn’t know anybody. That includes banks, police stations and kitty parties.

15. can cook maggi in 2 minutes #not

16. has tomoto ketchup with Aloo paratha, biryani, omelette and khichdi

17. often googles himself

18. transmorgifies into an ostrich at the sight of threat

19. silently follows(not stalk) the lives of people he likes/admires even though they may not like him that much

20. writes very long About Me pages

21. ends lists abruptly

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