Mercy Killing

July 30, 2009 at 9:29 pm | Posted in Fick-shun, Random Rants | 1 Comment
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He looked into her eyes and it happened. It always happened that way. And it unnerved him. It felt as if she could see through him – his deepest secrets. his darkest desires, the love that he had for her, his insecurities, his fears – He felt naked. He felt lost in her gaze. Her gaze always intimated him, it asked him questions he couldn’t answer.

And he loved her for that. Loved her for her aura, for her presence, for her beauty, for the truth she held in her heart, the sincerity that screamed in her words. He loved the challenge that she was, but he knew this had to end. And it was time it did.

So he handed her the piece of paper he was so tempted to burn away. “Your eyesight is perfect, you won’t need my services anymore!” – He smiled as she took that paper and left the room. And in that moment he killed himself again.

Dhamasaan Kudi – Part 5: Group Virtual Creation

May 1, 2009 at 5:41 pm | Posted in Fick-shun | Leave a comment

In the times of acute joblessness and boredom, a teenager called Som-Jam came up with an idea of writing a superhero story – in a group. Thus – Dhamasaan Kudi, the supergirl – came into existence.

Read through parts 1-7(because J.K.Rowling says 7 is a magically powerful number) and have the laugh of our life(or a disgusting waste of time, whichever applicable)

Recap: Dhamasaan Kudi is in love with Krrish… and they, together with the greatest inventions of all times – the Pant-T and the Unn-Dees… gear up to battle Virussata.. who is busy watching Taashan in Cinemax…

Part One. Author: Saumya
Part Two. Author: Shubhada

Part Three. Author: Harsh

Part Four.Author: Saumya


Part 5: Version 1

Part 5: Version 2: Written by yours truly 😀

Now Dhamasaan Kudi and Krrish are in a fix.. time is running out.. the deadly virus has spread… a horrible stench comes from all nooks and corners.. and people can do nothing about it… and the evil mastermind Virussata is enjoying(??) the superhit movie Taashan..! Unable to enter the cinema hall without tickets(mind you the movie is a superhit).. Dhamasaan Kudi and Krissh kidnap the waiters at the foodstall… in the intermission as Virussata comes out yawning… and orders a Coke and Popcorn combo… failing to realize that the hot chick in red dress, across the counter is nothing but Dhamasaan Kudi in disguise(the red dresses of the attendants match her superheroine outfit anyway..)… Krissh in the meanwhile has mixed the Virus in Virussata’s coke…

Virussata takes the coke and the popcorn inside the theatre… Krissh and Dhamasaan Kudi wait outside and Dhamasaan Kudi listens through the metal doors using her Du-kaan – the super sonic reception bum… and she can feel the resonant vibrations of someone running down the steps..

Virussata breaks through the door and rushes to the gent’s toilet.. Krissh runs(he can’t fly – the ceiling is too low.. and there are too many boards..) after him… Dhamasaan Kudi tries to catch up with them….

But Dhamasaan Kudi can’t enter the Gent’s toilet…(cause in her childhood she once peeked inside a gent’s toilet.. a rishi Pee-ka-Boo was praying there.. who cursed Dhamasaan Kudi that she will never be able to enter a gent’s toilet again… unless someone from the gent’t toilet pulls her in…)… So she stands outside helplessly…

Inside as Virussata struggles with the overflowing crap in his pants… Krissh stands laughing… Virussata had kept the Antidote of Skank in his rear pocket – but now his pants are wet with crap and he can’t pull the antidote bottle out.. watching this Krissh lunges towards Virussata’s bums.. to fish out the antidote bottle… and a struggle ensues between the two… Virussata is very powerful.. and the stench of crap drives him on.. makes him more powerful.. but vulnerable…

Krissh, who is used to cheap stunts and wiresupports… struggles to fight with Virussata… he hits him with all the washbasin fittings… tries to strangulate him with tissue papers… Virussata in return clamps him inside a toilet seat… wham..! bang..! the mayhem continues..!

Dhamasaan Kudi meanwhile rues over her helplessness.. when it strikes her that it is time to use the Pant-T and the Unn-Dee… so she rushes to the Ambazari lake and the Futala talao… from where water is supplied to Nagpur..

But here she sees couples coochie-cooing… and is disgusted… so she forgets her main mission and spanks all the naughty boys indulging in the act.. in turn.. she is cheered by Bajrang Dal candidates… and the lady police…

at this a couple.. angered by Dhamasaan Kudi’s acts… touches her forehead and passes the skank virus to Dhamasaan Kudi….

All hell breaks loose… there is a blinding light.. and an explosion follows… and suddenly Dhamasaan Kudi adorns a superman-ish outfit.. with the Unn-Dee glowing… and the realization of love dawns on her…. she asks forgiveness from the couples…. saying she was misguided by the hatred-infested stench of skank…. the Bajrang dal are now booing her…

She dreams about herself and Krissh sitting at the Futala lake.. having a good time.. when suddenly her Du-kaan – the super sonic reception bum – catches signals of Krissh’s screams… she is reminded of her purpose.. and she empties the Pant-Tees in the Futala lake and Ambazari lake…

She then rushes back to the Cinemax complex… where people are still watching Taashan..! and the gruesome duel between Virussata and Krissh is on… As she stands outside the toilet..(she can’t go in – the Pee-ka-boo Curse)… Virussata drags her in… in order to hold her hostage… and with this… The Pee-ka-Boo Curse breaks….

What happens next…?

P.S.:

Part 6
and the Grand Finale: Part 7

Amen.


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