About me v2.0

Tantanoo is a very lonely person(like Tweet is a very lonely person. That way)

He is so lonely that he has a twitter profile, a facebook profile and he still uses orkut. If you dig deep you’ll find him on Hi5 and other similar crapsites too. In his free time(which is most of the time) he sometimes writes stuff for this blog(stuff like this) and makes webcomics at www.comicry.org, which is the most popular website in his neighbourhood.

 

His achievements till date include finishing a beginner’s level Minesweeper game in three days, winning an ipod nano in a silly contest and the like. He has deleted his personal blog four times in the last 5 years(if you are reading this, this one is alive).

 

He has taken engineering, medical, architecture and English literature entrance exams and has managed to perform badly in all of them. He’s got an engineering degree in Industrial Engg.(which he cleared with a distinction but knows zilch about). He has never been able to code a program to find the LCM of two numbers yet he is confident that he’ll one day work as a software engineer.

 

He used to drive a moped. Now he has a bike but he seldom drives at speeds greater than 50 kmph. He reads horoscopes, has never read the editorial of a newspaper and believes in what news channels tell him. He has seen some movies, read a few books, listened to some music, he has played a few computer games, he wrote some programs, cleared some exams – but he never got around to doing much good in the world.

 

He also knows nothing about football, doesn’t have a favorite team and has never played any football either. The only sport he has ever followed was cricket where in also he remembers neither facts nor figures. He cannot tell the off stump from the leg stump and is stumped when someone asks him what a googly is. However he can play Carrom, UNO and some card games with ease. He is also ignorant about Cars, F1, sports bikes and like but can form an opinion if Google is around.

 

For a part of his life, he wanted to be a superhero, thought he had superpowers that will reveal themselves with time but apart from the power to survive without taking a bath for more than a week, he doesn’t seem to have any other superhero traits. No, he doesn’t own any red underwear too.

 

He is a very peaceful person. Never fought with anyone in his life because he believes his calcium starved body won’t take well to fights and bruises. He almost lost his teeth in a freaky bike accident trying to save a dog. He got 15 stitches on his face, a fracture in the jaw and suffered a major drop in dowry prices too. He also believes he’ll lose most of his teeth before he reaches 35.

 

For the first 22 years of his life he stuck to a pandu hairstyle and then in the last year changed as many styles as he could. Every once in a while he does away with his hair because he believes that a bald scalp once in a while results in a better  crop(like people who believe that formatting their hard disks every weekend will keep their computer healthy or farmers who believed in shifting agriculture). *Yes, he also used ‘once in a while’ twice in the last sentence*

 

He is a firm believer in Copy+Paste and depends on Google to write most articles. Also he has recently been addicted to define: word in Google Chrome and his limited vocabulary has taken a major nosedive.

 

He has often been labelled as an un-friendly, non-team person and has been labelled as a good friend and team worker too. As new labels arrive he’ll update you about them. At the moment he carries the currently-unemployed, eternally sleepy, I-will-not-leave-my-room-and-my-laptop labels.

 

 

Tantanoo can’t:

1. look good or pose well for a photograph

2. type a letter/blogpost without any grammatical error

3. remember the meaning of  words like existential, preposterous etc.

4. paint or sketch without copying from a parent image

5. make a good first purchase(Examples include a 1.3 MP Digicam for 4K and more)

6. write in the same handwriting with different pens(his cheques are rejected because his signatures don’t match with his signatures. *grammatically incorrect but sounds so cool*

7. keep good news to himself

8.  dance

9. sing *though he has given some really embarrassing performances on stage*

10. spell Alanis morisette’s name correctly 7 out of 10 times, Spelled ‘independence’ as ‘independance’ on a wallpaper he made because Adobe Photoshop doesn’t have autocorrect

11. defeat Chuck Norris at anything.

12. solve a sudoku puzzle on a computer screen or mobile phone

13. tolerate the sound of a running tap

 

Tantanoo:

1. is not homophobic

2. reads magazines from the last page first(for obvious reasons)

3. wants to make a teleshopping commercial one day

4. gives sleep a priority over anything unless he has something creative(even if remotely) to do

5. memorized parts of the Merchant of Venice for an English viva voce once and still remembers those lines

6. is very careless about being punctual and doesn’t really care about it

7. can read a Sherlock Homles story, a Harry Potter book and a Hindi comicbook at any time *even between important semester exams*

8. detests sms lingo and tryz 2 avd it afap

9. has seen Vivah thrice and survived to tell the tale. He also survived Aage se Right and Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag(#36 on IMDB Bottom 100)

10. is extremely bad at mathematics(his worst nemesis) and spellings(his second worst nemesis) and grammar(you get the idea)

11. doesn’t own a digital camera. Quick, gift him one!

12. owns a towel that has Tweety on it. Now who would have thought of that!

13. can drink insane amounts of tea and coffee

14. hates going to places where he doesn’t know anybody. That includes banks, police stations and kitty parties.

15. can cook maggi in 2 minutes #not

16. has tomoto ketchup with Aloo paratha, biryani, omelette and khichdi

17. often googles himself

18. transmorgifies into an ostrich at the sight of threat

19. silently follows(not stalk) the lives of people he likes/admires even though they may not like him that much

20. writes very long About Me pages

21. ends lists abruptly

</aboutme>

41 Comments »

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  1. wow… now thats an interesting insight into a person 🙂

  2. Second time in my life that I laughed out loud at some one’s ‘About Me’!
    Love the insight. 😀

    • Now I am reading it to find out where is the effing insight that everybody is talking about? 😀
      (btw. when was the first time your laughed out loud at some one’s ‘About me’?)

  3. CAN I PLAGIARIZE UR STUFF!!!!

    ABOUT ME PAGE. PLEASE PLEASE…..

    • First up, CALM down. You can copy it if you happen to be my evil twin. But since you aren’t, why should you? I mean, you can always write such a self-dissing about me for your own self. Try it. Isn’t that difficult.

      Thanks for asking, but asking ruins the spirit of plagiarization. *if that is a word*

      I hope you get the message. 🙂

  4. interesting, really really interesting, i like your this attitude, the person who can laugh on himself/herself is the happiest person of the world 🙂

  5. thats too much to know in about me section in v2.0 😛

    • Taciturnity is a crime I have never been accused of. 😀

  6. Tantanoo:

    Is vary funny!
    Writes awesome About Me pages.
    Should rewrite other people’s About Me pages coz their’s suck.
    Should charge for aforementioned service and
    Thereby enabling the purchase of digicam with received money.
    Should learn lawyerspeak from Pitu and henceforth use it.

    • Pitu:

      is very generous with her praise.
      writes awesomer comments for awesome about me pages.
      is wrong because better about me pages exist.
      is right because I can do this for a price.
      is wrong because people won’t pay.
      is right that I must come up with something like this for the money.
      is a good teacher so Tantanu will learn lawyerspeak from her.
      should get her about me page done and should pay Tantanu a fortune for his services.

      🙂

  7. hey ur just awesome !
    n u share many traits with me (like what is just mentioned above). unintentionally n unknowingly. but still.

    • Some divine conspiracy it must be.. Ever been to a Mela or something?

  8. hey Tantanu, you are interesting !
    And I read the whole of your Save our Tiger campaign article. Now will you send me a valentine’s greeting ? (i know valentine’s day is gone, but better late than never)

    About the tiger article, I appreciate the work that you did on it. It is good, though I can’t say I am motivated enough to do something. (I believe we humans are too far in our endeavors to destroy the whole planet…sorry for the fatalism)

    • Hey Borna,
      This comment is interesting too. Hmm, I’ll send you a Valentine’s greeting. About the Tiger article, I think we can revert a few things provided we are prompt enough. That article was too cynical to motivate anyone, anyway.

  9. That was really damn interesting About Me, although i got bored a little *yawn*… Anyway, tantanoo bhaiya rocks. \m/ You always answer my stupid questions intellectually and say,” they were genuine”. Oh, yes, i tried blogging in wordpress. I didn’t understand much. Pretty heavy stuff. I should better stick to Twitter.

  10. Awesomeness…

  11. This is THE lengthiest “About” page I have ever read.. That too, I read till the end!
    You write amazingly funny! Anybody who lands in your blog is sure to have a smile in their face! 🙂

    Your blog is both sensible & funny! Great work..

    • This is actually THE lengthiest about me page that even I have ever read. 😛

  12. Hahaha!
    I follow you on Faking News in Facebook.
    This is the first time I checked out your blog, and boy, am I glad I did! 😀
    I’m going to read all your posts now, get clues about where you live and stalk you– because from your About Me, it’s obvious you’re my soulmate. 😛
    -dies-

    • I should look like my blog in my real life. *sigh*

  13. In sooth, i know not why i am so sad,
    it wearies me, you say it wearies you
    But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
    What stuff tis made of, whereof it is born,
    I am to learn;
    And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,
    That I have much ado to know myself.

    Were each and everyone of us made to learn these lines…or was it just 3 years of the same play. My favourite line ofcourse is
    “i hold the world but as the world, A stage, where every man must play a part’; And mine a drama queen (Shukkarpare and I have a relation-we mooch off each others quotes)”

    think shall follow 🙂

    • I prefer the Casket speeches. They rhyme. 🙂

  14. […] doing all they can to spread the word about the plight of the Tiger, a blogger going by the name of Tatanoo correctly pointed out flaws about the current methods by activists to generate awareness and […]

  15. […] doing all they can to spread the word about the plight of the Tiger, a blogger going by the name of Tatanoo correctly pointed out flaws about the current methods by activists to generate awareness and […]

  16. […] per diffondere la notizia e far conoscere la drammatica condizione della tigre, un blogger di nome Tatanoo [in] ha giustamente sottolineato l’inadeguatezza dei mezzi utilizzati al momento dagli attivisti […]

  17. […] за ужасната состојба на тигрите. Меѓутоа, блогерот Tantanoo соодветно ги посочи грешките во сегашните методи на […]

  18. […] Tantanoo […]

  19. […] Tantanoo […]

  20. very interesting indeed.. esp th marry me part!! 😀 😀

  21. opening this page gives a parsing error complaining that open tag missing 😛

  22. hey, awesomely awesome ‘About me’.
    Confession: I sort of plagiarized it but in my rough notebook(promise won’t write it anywhere :D); it was a vent out of all things we dislike about ourselves and seriously it helped out.
    Redundant as might sound to you but very true, your writing binds a person till the end..another cliche but still hats of to you!!

  23. The one damn most SELF EXPLANATION given by anyone… Its really awesome, and most interesting… I usually didn’t spend much time in readin stuffs like this, but ur v2.0 is really grabbin me well to finish off till da last line…

    I’ve seen ur post in fakingnews nd happened to visit ur blog thru that..

    Good job… u’ll be rocking more…

  24. […] […]

  25. Seriously awesome ‘about me’!

    Wonderful Blog you have 🙂

  26. What else can i say what others haven’t said already. Hats of to you master of masters. Best damn About Me page mine sucks big time by the way. also read few of your posts which are just wonderful. Keep the good work coming from your end I will try to the same at my end.


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