PMS – Phir Mile Sur

January 27, 2010 at 11:37 pm | Posted in Bhery Phunny, Chuninda, Random Rants | 48 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Phir Mile Sur is a lot like PMS: Unwanted and painful. Hence the title.


If you were born in the 80s and your parents were rich and kind enough to buy a television, you’ll probably remember Mile Sur Mera Tumhara. You’ll remember growing up and recognizing famous people as ‘oh, they were in that video’. You’ll remember memorizing bits of the song in the languages that you didn’t understand(something you probably did with Diya jale from Dil se). You’ll remember a video which made sense irrespective of whether the day was a national holiday or not.

Cut to 2009.

You’ll wake up one day to the news that some channel took the responsibility of ruining remaking ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’. Thanks to Twitter, you’ll find a number of links to the video. You’ll waste spend 16 minutes of your day watching that video(and another 32 minutes for buffering if you have a lightening-fast connection like I do). And the one thing that’ll come to your mind after this thrilling indulgence is: Why did they do it?

After much deep and profound brain things in my head (and after watching every frame for minutes as the 16 minute long epic buffered), I have discovered the motive behind this video.

What appears to be a tribute to the message of ‘Unity in Adversity Diversity’ is actually a recording of the auditions of a new reality show – So you think you can dance(like Shah Rukh).

my son just told me if u tweet so much u will become a bird. so before i become a bird...lemme go to sleep. love u all...bye bye - @iamsrk

(Edit: Thanks to a crappy internet connection, I didn’t notice that Krish Ashok has already made a much better analogy of this phenomenon. I am leaving this here because too much effort went into this and it’d unfair to ignore it.)

Of course, our choreographers still consider that the only movements of body parts that can show national integration and unity are – spread thy arms wide like Shah Rukh or the adjustments Sachin does while on the cricket field.


Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara is fail on so many levels. And I’ll blame only the director for this and none else. I can understand the urge to cast the you-know-whos of bollywood, in an attempt to create an epic video. I can also understand the crappy renditions (and lip sync errors) of a song that is dear to so many of us.

But I refuse to accept the way this video is shot. I once attended a movie making workshop where they taught us 10 ways in which you can ruin a video. PMSMT goes way beyond that. Heck, I’ve seen better Teleshopping commercials.

The cameraman skipped some essential lessons in college.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How does one explain a close up of Bhupen Hazarika which puts the ‘Eye of Sauron’ to shame? Not to mention the shaky vocals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jajantram Mamantram anyone?

 

Or Sivamani in a tantric avatar?

 

 

 

 

 You've watched Love in Nepal, really? Wow. And Jaani Dushman? Okay.

 

Or Sonu Nigam as a struggling-musician-cum-actor-cum-Aaj-Tak-reporter?

 

 

 

Lions are extinct, right? No? But the producer says so.

 

Or this symbolism-laden Beat-them-lions tabla?

 

 

 

In Pindari, we eat kids.

 

Or Salman doing the Hannibal Lector bit?

 

 

 

 

I can't headbang. Sorry. Am too old for that. Plus this sarod is too frail after that Air India mishap.

Or Camera Angles that turn every stringed instrument player into a rock star?

 

 

 

 

This is the continuum keyboard. Yes. It is about time you googled that.

Or A.R. Rehman juxtaposed against a Solar Water heater? There is a hidden message here somewhere.

 

 

 

 

The Song of India. Hmm. Like The Times of India? That way?

Imma gonna let you finish PMS, but Lata ji’s Vande Mataram will forever be My Song of India.

 

 

 

 


Almost everybody who has come across this video has cursed the makers. But every cloud has a silver lining, so does this video:

Five things that I learned from PMS:

 

1. Aditya Pancholi has an evil twin:

At least the location is good.

I had not read Krish’s post when I first saw this video and I was shocked to find Aditya Pancholi there. Turns out that he is Vikram – Aditya Pancholi’s kumbh-brother.

 

 

 

2. Carrom is the official Old-Age-Home sport:

Can we go in now?

Munna Bhai brought this to the fore and PMS confirms it – Carrom is the official sport for the Old-Age-Homes. And they are always together, out in the garden, on plastic chairs, trying to understand why is this fellow overacting?

 

 

3. Lip-syncing is gender neutral:

If this had been any longer, I'd have roped Farah in too.

In a hurry to squeeze in the Sports and the Defence fellows in the last few minutes of this glamsham video, the director proves that Biachung or KJ singing in a lady’s voice is perfectly normal. Ofcourse it is. No?

 

 

 

4. The Electric Guitar can also run on AA size Batteries:

Arjun Rampal did better than you. Go watch Rock On again. Duffer.

I understand guitars as much as Jacky Bhagnani understands acting and Jugal Hansraj direction. But really, Strings have an amplifier setup in open-air shots. Even Himess does better in Karzzz.

 

 

 

5. We have mastered the Picture-in-Picture Technology:

I have no idea what's going on behind my back.

If James Cameron is the king of 3D animation, we are the leaders in P-i-P technology. So what if it looks terribly cheesy, straight out of those Godzilla movies?

 

 

 


But criticism apart, I actually liked PMS in bits and pieces.

10 Reasons why I liked PMS:

1. No Mallika Sherawat:

Mallika ala re ala.. zara dharti sambhal brijbala..

I was almost expecting Mallika Sherawat to pop up in the video. You know, she is the epitome of patriotism and all. As @abtony observed, she was draped in a US flag on our Republic Day. Not that we are judging her, after all she was the one who introduced Twitter to Indians. Or was it Shashi Tharoor?

 

 

2. A fleeting mention of Sand Art:

iLike.

In a video replete with examples of inherited celebdom, Sudarsan Pattnaik’s (I am assuming it was him) Sand sculptures come as a welcome relief.

 

 

3. No MSD, Sehwag or even Sachin:

Cricket can lift Hockey on its shoulders too. After killing it that is.

For a change, they didn’t include cricketers in a patriotic video. Not that they did justice to other sports, giving stars like Saina a blink-and-you-will-miss role. But the croaky preaching of Sehwag and Dhoni looks good only in Chyavanprash Advertisements. As for Sachin, well, Bal Thakarey would have boycotted the video then, no?

 

 

4. Kids with sensory disability:

This isn't the Amul Macho ad shoot? Damn. Using kids with sensory disability was actually a very good idea. But they had to ruin it with a Salman-is-the-next-MJ routine. In a ragged jeans torn in all the wrong places and a Nirma white baniyaan(even though they were playing football) – Salman is a clear misfit(both ethically and visually)

 

 

5. A fully dressed Shilpa Shetty:

I didn't ask for these mirrors. Ask the producer. The one in the vanity van is big enough.

I had half expected Shilpa Shetty to be in her Rajasthan Royals avatar, wearing a ghaghra choli, doing the Ila arun bit for the country. But marriage and yoga have had their effect on her. Thankfully.

 

 

6. Gurdaas Mann: iLike.

One word. Respect. Not only does he bring the naive punjabi charisma to his bits of the song, he also shows the choreographers that you can express devotion without spreading your arms. Imagine Mika in his place. *shudders*

 

 

 

7. Atul Kulkarni: Aga bai ata kai karayecha aahe?

While the country still equates Marathi culture to Fishermen thanks to decades of stereotyping(thru dhagala lagli kala, aika daaji ba and much more), Atul Kulkarni brings some gravity to the video. Though even he appears clueless, to some extent, as to what is he supposed to do.

 

 

8. No Rakhi Sawant or Rahul Mahajan:

Don't. even. think. about. it.

If TRPs are to be considered, Ms. Sawant and Mr. Mahajan could have been here. Maybe even Vindoo. Because that is what the new India is about. Flash celebrities. Thankfully the video doesn’t stoop to those levels.

 

 

 

9. Deepika Padukone:

They don't have a National award for this?Don’t get me wrong here. Deepika’s contribution to Indian Culture or Brand India is akin to KRK’s contribution to World Cinema. But this sequence reminded me of the Lyril Advertisements, you know. So am giving her some points for induced nostalgia. And she looked less Savita-bhabhi-sh than Ass-worrier Ray.

 

 

10. Zakir Hussein:

iLike.

He is as timeless as his music. or his hairstyle. But I almost expected him to say ‘Wah Taaj’ at the end of it.

 

 

 

 


To quote one Agent Smith, Phir Mile Sur is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of change. And changed we have.

In 1988 we were talking to the people of the country through Doordarshan. In 2010 we are talking to the world through our movies and our channels. PMS talks of a new India.  Where kids don’t want to be astronauts anymore, they want to be roadies. Where patriotism and jingoism go hand in hand. Where you can sell anything and everything– be it peace or patriotism.

It is unfair to compare PMS with Mile Sur. Mile sur was a fresh concept, a wakeup call of sorts. PMS is a rude reminder, of how times have changed. Mile Sur had characters, Om Puri playing a Punjabi, Kamal Hassan never opened his arms, Arun Lal walked out of a Metro. PMS has celebrities. So everyone is playing themselves. There is no central thought, there aren’t any messages to take. You don’t see the farmer, the mahout, the auto-wallahs and the dabba-wallahs – you see people who endorse soaps and shampoos and bikes. It is pretence in its sweetest avatar. One celebrity at a time.

Has PMS tarnished my memory of Mile Sur Mera Tumhara? No. Thanks to Youtube, it hasn’t. Will I forgive them for making this video? Yes. If I can forgive Ram Gopal Verma for Aag and Himess for Karzzz, I think I’ll forgive them for PMS.

Amen.


P.S.: After reading Krish Ashok’s and MojoRojo’s posts, I was in two minds, whether to go with this post or not. If you haven’t read them till now(which is highly unlikely), go read them. They’ve almost covered everything that could have been said about PMS. You can also read these posts that I came across here, here and here.

Disclaimer: I know the preamble to the Constitution by heart, can recite the Indian pledge without googling and can tell  you the names of Savita Bhabhi’s episodes in chronological order. If that doesn’t make me an Indian, appreciating Phir Mile Sur surely won’t.


spicysaturday

This post was selected as BlogAdda’s Spicy Saturday Picks

 

 


Zeitgeist #1

January 26, 2010 at 1:05 am | Posted in Bhery Phunny | 16 Comments
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Zeitgeist – (from German Zeit- time and Geist- spirit) is "the spirit of the times" and/or "the spirit of the age." Zeitgeist is the general cultural, intellectual, ethical,spiritual, and/or political climate within a nation or even specific groups, along with the general ambience, morals, and sociocultural direction or mood of an era (similar to the English word mainstream ortrend). – Wikipedia

 

In my opinion, the most intelligent people on earth (after BCCI and Hockey India’s officials) are the folks at Google.

One fine day, they decided that they’ll use the aggregation of millions of search queries they receive every day to reveals this spirit, the spirit of our times. They were so fascinated by the idea that they’ve been doing this every year. So at the end of each year, you get an in-your-face account of the stupidity of the world – the spirit of our age.

 

zeitgeist2009_logo

For example, you’ll  learn that Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson have been the most searched women, worldwide from 2001 to 2005 after which Google almost gave up tracking them. (Later I guess, Paris Hilton dethroned them). Or that in 2007, the most important question after ‘Who is God?’ was ‘Who is who’. That in 2009, ‘Lady Gaga’ was more popular than ‘Windows 7’.

Then there are some mindboggling revelations about the ‘Indian spirit of the times’.  Sample this -  in 2009, Kambaqt Ishq was the second most popular search query.(!!!) Sarah Palin was more popular than Barack Obama, which is actually true . After much analysis, Google concluded that – “Google Zeitgeist 2009 is a real reflection of the spirit of the nation – which saw all the ups and downs and yet remained true to its love for entertainment, peace and hope!

Yeah, right.

 

But then, everybody loves Raymond Google. So if they say that search queries reveal the spirit of the times, then it must be so. Who are we to disagree with the company that gave us the biggest invention of all times –  Google wave Mail or Gmail *which half of people of Amethi assume to be Gandhi Mail*

So, coming to the point, I, as a true follower of the Google way of life – decided to establish a Zeitgeist using the statistics of this blog. If this is what the world is searching for, doomsday (2012) is by all means near. Have a look.

 

1. Most Popular:  Middle Finger

Middle finger is one of the most important organs of the body. It is mainly an instrument of expression which is sometimes used to carry out meaningless tasks like gripping, voting, sex etc. So when people search for middle finger, I am not surprised. Really. Not….

 

kid throws the middle finger 

Like kids throw a ball, or a toy, that way? 

 

middle finger explosion

This would be one unsuccessful suicide bomber, I am sure

 

birds make middle finger

Yes, and Gods play air-hockey

 

And the bumper prize goes to: Cat Middle Finger

This has to be one tech-savvy LOLcat. And guess what, we’ve found her.

 

middle_finger

 

2. Popular: Harry Potter

Now who doesn’t know J K Rowling? She is to the world, what Chetan Bhagat is to India. Ok, bad analogy but the fact is that I like reading Harry Potter books. I’ve read all seven of them and I am not ashamed of it. JKR’s writing prowess is none of my business and as long as she keeps writing books that has something to do with castles and magical mirrors, I’ll keep reading them. But let us not digress.

Since they(JKR, Harry, Hermione and Ron) are so popular, a lot of search queries are made looking for Potter-fiction and wallpapers, updates on the sequels and so on.

But somewhere down the line, these queries become ‘queer-ies’, for example:

 

harry ron kissing

I agree that JKR revealed that Dumbledore is gay and everything and that Daniel Radcliffe did go nude and all for a play that was titled ‘Equus’ (another word for Horse). But this is stretching your imagination really far. *farther than the goat jokes that JKR plugged into the book*

 

Again, we have a winner: Hermione needs to pee

 – Is this a statement or a question? Whatever it is, this is as moronic as Japanese porn

 

3. Somewhat Popular:  Cartoons

You mention Cartoon Network in one post and people looking for stuff like the following land on your blog:

sissy cartoon

I really don’t know what this guy was looking for

 

Gay cartoon network

Rule no. 34 in action, clearly.

 

Rakhi Sawant Cartoon

Aren’t they the same thing?

 

On a possibly related note, someone also landed here searching for:- “rakhi sawant fuk imeg”. Assuming such a thing really existed, do you really want to see it? Really? No, Really?

 

Honorary Mentions:

It is really difficult to categorize everything so here are some honorary mentions. Feel free to gross out or be blinded by the awesomeness:

 

shilpa shetty beliefs on alcohol

Just when I had lost all hope in the World, a silver lining appears. While the rest of the country is searching for ‘Shilpa shetty hot videos’ and ‘’Shilpa navel’ – here is someone who agrees that even Bollywood actresses have an organ called the Brain(though it might be vestigial in a few of them) and cares about their beliefs.

 

kidney stone bladder exit speed

I should have measured it when the stone came out. Damn. Next time, surely. It is not everyday that a physicist suffers from a Kidney Stone. I understand.

 

in which state arabian sea is ?

I don’t know that but I can tell you where Geographia is. *and no ‘liquid state’ jokes in the comments, please.*

 

sleeper cell pyar ho gaya

Another misguided terrorist. Sigh.

 

manmohan singh thinking

This needs a disambiguation. Sonia Gandhi thinking.

fuck with leady patient and wardboy

I can sense some radioactive sex here, leady patient and all.

 

general thought for aunty in Marathi

This is one confused wannbe manoos.

 

khan bow and arrow

No, this isn’t about Veer. Nor is it about a legendary duel between Aamir ‘Vacuum Cleaner’ Khan and Shahrukh ‘Crater’ Khan. This is probably about Ghengis Khan. 

 

difference between want and need

I want a State. I need a life. Clear?

 

hero puch

This is something very close to my heart *and bums*. Will blog about it someday. But people really search for that? On Google? Wow.

 

sania mirza balls

I am prepared to give this guy a benefit-of-doubt.

 

i want write comments to yash raj chopra

This is for the chap who has been visiting this blog and leaving comments asking if I know someone in the YRF camp so that I can arrange him a job. If you are reading this, I am sorry brother, I am not related to YRF in any way and considering that they are making movies like ‘Pyaar Impossible’, I suggest that you stay away from them too.

 

i am not dead Indian

I am including this in the list because of the variety of results you get when you search this in Google. It gives results like – Armaan not dead, Zero not dead, Indian Samosa Casserole, Monty Python, a scorpio called Zippy not dead – results as varied as BSNL’s broadband plans.

 

and to round it off:

addha pauua

For the uninitiated Addha pauua stands for different quantities of country liquor. An addha is half a bottle, a pauua is a quarter, or so I am told.

 

So I think, you now have a general idea of ‘the spirit of our times’. I, in my special way, have doubled these keywords on this blog which in turn will attract even lamer search queries, which of course translates to more food for blog posts.  

If you’ve survived so far, you must really love me or you might be hoping that I’d plug a photo of Shilpa Shetty here. In any case, till saner times return, Go Google.


Disclaimer:

This post isn’t a work of fiction but any resemblance to any person, place, state or celebrity(or their body parts) is still purely co-incidental *to be read aloud in a very matter-of-fact tone*

Also, if you were responsible for one of these searches, you can contact the author and claim credit for the same.


Trivia:

This post hardly involved any research but here are two articles that I found interesting:

Hairy Otter and the Kidney Stone

Tiny Foes

– and my tale of the Bermuda Triangle – Stoned.

Also, thanks to this poem, this blog tends to attract a lot of mathematical queries. Like -  

  • reunion vector
  • congruent lines with definition
  • what does three out five mean in volley
  • parallels lines

I’d like to clarify that mathematics isn’t my strongest subject.  It used to be once upon a time when I was class 2-c. But after I repeatedly failed to memorize the table of 13, my marks and interest in mathematics has plummeted. Please don’t waste your time here.

Also if you have more time to waste, you can try reading this, this and this – posts which are responsible for most of these keywords.


Neither Hair, Nor There

January 10, 2010 at 1:16 pm | Posted in Bhery Phunny, How To - DIY Guides | 43 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

Ques. A four letter word that starts with H, ends with R and rhymes with ‘duck’?

Ans. Hair.

 

Now you know the reason why my career as a quizmaster came to an abrupt end. But this post isn’t about me. It is about that four letter word which has perplexed me the most in the twenty something years of my existence. It is about Hair. 

Think about it.

It is a strange thing.

You either can’t have enough of it or you don’t want it at all. Mostly you want just the right amount of hair. You will go to any length to get the right haircut even if it means paying gargantuan amounts of money that could otherwise fund all the poor kids featured in Slumdog Millionaire for the rest of their lives.

But you don’t want it in the wrong places. It has this peculiar habit of showing up in wrong places. Like ex-boyfriends and nosey relatives.

Then there is facial hair. Most Men want. All Women don’t. But both sexes can’t do without the eyebrows – which technically speaking -  is facial hair.

Then there are strands emerging from your ears and nose and you know, rest of your body. And you don’t want them. (unless you are a railway minister or someone with a weird hair fetish).

Then there are other parameters like color, buoyancy, strength, terminal velocity, coefficient of viscocity, Shehnaz Hussein’s Number and other mindboggling parameters. Add to this gazillion advertisements telling you to color your hair, dye it, wash it, dry it, rip it off, show it, hide it – it is chaos.

 

I am sure that worrying about hair is the leading cause of anxiety in men and women. Don’t believe me? Type ‘How to grow’ in Google and see for yourself:

 

Clearly majority Indians are more worried about Hair than *ahem* other organs.

That isn’t surprising. We as a country are obsessed with ‘Ghane mulayam kale baal, khile khile matwale baal’. Decades have gone by and still the girl with the longest, darkest and shiniest hair(wig rather) gets the elusive lift from the handsome hunk, in the advertisement.

We haven’t grown out of this follicle fixation. Look at Bollywood for example.

Q. If Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis were born in India, what role would they have got in Bollywood?

A. They’d be Bodyguards.

 

Yes. No action hero, no superhero, not even a sidekick. A measly body guard. Because in Bollywood, if you don’t have hair, you either end up being a body guard or a villain.

Come to think of it, bald bodyguards are perhaps the worst stereotypes. Even worse than Mother-in-laws and Suraj Barjatya’s families. Harsh comparison, I know, but I have photographic evidence to support this stupid theory.

But that is how we’ve treated our follically challenged men. So in Hollywood where bald (mostly) stands for tough guy/action hero, in Bollywood, the bald men are restricted to being notorious villains and fed with cheesy lines in non-cheesy movies.

 

Remember Shetty ?– the rogue guy sans hair – who sent a chill down the leading lady’s spine just by looking at her.

 

The guy who, despite being stronger and more ruthless, had to lose in the penultimate fight to a hero almost half his bodyweight. Dharam ji would dance around trees, sing a few songs and still defeat Shetty, a villain who has worked hard, all his life, to be this bad.

Doesn’t sound fair, does it? But that is what the director and the audience wanted. I mean, who’d have paid to watch Shetty dance around trees and wooing the girl. No hair = no girl. Simple.

This didn’t change much. One look at Shakaal – the bald baddie played by Kulbhooshan Kharbanda – and you’ll know how bald characters were sketched. I mean, here is this fellow, Undesirable  no.1 and owner of an island. Yes. Island, with tunnels and bunkers and helipads. And a chamber that has sharks in a green tank and crocodiles beneath, who keep ogling at your legs like coolies, at any railway station, ogle at Gujju families.

No kidding. This isn’t Austin Powers that we are talking about. This is a serious movie, action packed Bollywood Bond-wannabe flick.

But Shakaal isn’t your everyday villain. He has this chill about him, parts of which emanated from his shiny scalp. Shakaal loved his scalp, kept scratching it once in a while *which gives immense pleasure let me tell you, from personal experience.. almost orgasmic*

 

I can haz no dandruff

Now imagine this movie with a Bald Amitabh Bacchan and Shakaal with flowing hair. Difficult eh? I thought so.

Or the immortal – “Yeh thappad ki goonj suni tumne, jailor?”

 

 Hair-weaving for dummies: Don’t try this at home

There is nothing as scary as a bald baddie.

Or maybe there is.

 

<digress>

</digress>

 

But then, later on, the bald bad men became a mockery of the terror they used to be thanks to Bob Christo and several others. They were reduced to mere pieces for that one prized scene where a bird would bomb some poop on their shiny head.

 

These days bald men are reduced to portly good fellows in Bollywood. They either go the Alok Nath way by becoming ever-cringing fathers or the Saurabh Shukla way of character roles. The only tough guy on television, who is nearly bald, and stands out for his daredevilry and genius is – ACP Pradyuman.

 

 

Since I’ve run out of examples, let us go back to the point.

Look at Vin Diesel. Chicks dig him. He gulps beer like gummy bears douse gummy juice. He drives cars like crazy in a country where you get a parking ticket for illegal parking. And he doesn’t have any hair. On his head.

Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Patrick Stewart, Kevin Spacey(almost bald that is) – the list goes on.

Bollywood pales in comparison. We as a nation and as one of the ‘largest centres of film production’  in the world have treated our follically-challenged with ignorance and contempt.

  • What about people who haven’t a black strand on their head but can act better than Fardeen Khan with half their face?
  • What about receding hairlines that disappear faster than India’s borders disappear on Google Earth?
  • What about men(and superstars) who visit doctors and hakims to prevent hair-fall so that they can stay in this business?
  • What about people who are reading this post and thinking that this is their story, a tale of their agony?

We need to end this bias towards bald men. Let us treat them in a hu-mane manner. Let them romance the hottest actresses, beat villains(with flowing hair) to pulp. Let them achieve everything their able-haired counterparts have achieved. And beyond.

Amen.

 


Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction. I have never rallied for any serious cause in my life, let alone the cause of balding men.(Okay, I am lying but don’t take me too seriously). My display pic on Twitter is bald and that on Facebook has flourishing curls, so I belong to both camps.

Also, sexist as this post may sound(thanks to that horrid image of Brit.n.e.y Spears), I sincerely think and feel that hair(and hairfall in general) cuts across gender boundaries.

My knowledge of Bollywood is as extensive as Sarah Palin’s understanding of the effects of China’s policies on the geopolitical climate of Europe. (or so the Facebook quizzes tell me) so any error(factual or otherwise) is deeply regretted, else furiously denied.

Lastly, I love each and every actor mentioned in this post – especially Kulbhushan Kharbanda and Saurabh Shukla – even Bob Christo. I didn’t mention names from regional films because: a) I haven’t seen any regional movies, b) I don’t remember any if I have. If you know more examples, flood the comments section.(flood it anyway).


Trivia:

– This post was started in 2009 and was finished in 2010. Stayed in the drafts longer than any other post.

– I re-wrote this post thrice. Still doesn’t appeal much to me but what the heck.

– Here is an interview of SRK’s Bodyguard in OSO – Rediff Movies

– I verified this Google Suggestions trick everywhere.

– In UK people are more interested in ‘growing weed’ still 3/10 results are about growing hair.

– 4/10 for Google Singapore.

– Google Japan was simple – grow tall, grow weed, grow rice – in that order. On an unrelated note, some people from Japan were looking for ways to train a dragon. I love Japan.

– 1/10 for Australians who were mostly interested in growing strawberries, basil, tomatoes, potatoes, garlic, mushrooms, coriander and ofcourse, weed.

– Google Pakistan wanted to grow all body parts – hair, beard, nails and err.. Lacy Black(read: Breast Cancer).

– Some people from Frances wanted to grow “African” hair. World peace indeed.

– You guessed it right, I don’t have a job, or a life.

 

– Also while fishing for the Shetty screenshot I learned the following:

  • Google search for Shetty keyword is dominated by Raj Kundra’s wife
  • Google related advertisements also show a Shettymatrimony site
  • Then I searched for ‘Shetty villain’ and discovered Memsaab’s blog – one of the best bollywood blogs that I’ve come across. I asked for the pic – yes, I asked for it and didn’t flick it – and she actually egged me on to search for Shetty pics on her blog, and I found some 20 odd pics. Damn you Google.
  • Also, there isn’t any entry about Shetty on Wikipedia or any other site apart from a facebook fan club. Add to this the fact that I didn’t find ‘much’ information about Keshto Mukherjee when I was writing the Daaru Pradesh post. Someone really needs to collect all this data and shove it up Google’s..err.. servers.

– Also here is an articleabout the Bald and the Beautiful in Hollywood

– On a totally random note here is a list of The Hundred Greatest Hair Metal Songs.

– Screenshots have been provided by none other than the Great Sujoy Singhawho blogs at One Knight Standsand wrote his virgin myPFC post recently.

– The Image of ACP Pradyuman has been flicked from – tvshows.sulekha.com – and probably belongs to Sony Entertainment Television.

– I am not sure how many of you know this but I read on the wiki page of CID that it holds a Guinness record for “canning an entire episode of CID in just one single shot of 111 minutes without a single cut.”

– Are you even reading this? Anyway I’ll leave you here, in case you haven’t left me already.


P.S.: Vinod Kambli, if you are reading this, I am very proud of you. Really.


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