PMS – Phir Mile Sur

January 27, 2010 at 11:37 pm | Posted in Bhery Phunny, Chuninda, Random Rants | 48 Comments
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Phir Mile Sur is a lot like PMS: Unwanted and painful. Hence the title.


If you were born in the 80s and your parents were rich and kind enough to buy a television, you’ll probably remember Mile Sur Mera Tumhara. You’ll remember growing up and recognizing famous people as ‘oh, they were in that video’. You’ll remember memorizing bits of the song in the languages that you didn’t understand(something you probably did with Diya jale from Dil se). You’ll remember a video which made sense irrespective of whether the day was a national holiday or not.

Cut to 2009.

You’ll wake up one day to the news that some channel took the responsibility of ruining remaking ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’. Thanks to Twitter, you’ll find a number of links to the video. You’ll waste spend 16 minutes of your day watching that video(and another 32 minutes for buffering if you have a lightening-fast connection like I do). And the one thing that’ll come to your mind after this thrilling indulgence is: Why did they do it?

After much deep and profound brain things in my head (and after watching every frame for minutes as the 16 minute long epic buffered), I have discovered the motive behind this video.

What appears to be a tribute to the message of ‘Unity in Adversity Diversity’ is actually a recording of the auditions of a new reality show – So you think you can dance(like Shah Rukh).

my son just told me if u tweet so much u will become a bird. so before i become a bird...lemme go to sleep. love u all...bye bye - @iamsrk

(Edit: Thanks to a crappy internet connection, I didn’t notice that Krish Ashok has already made a much better analogy of this phenomenon. I am leaving this here because too much effort went into this and it’d unfair to ignore it.)

Of course, our choreographers still consider that the only movements of body parts that can show national integration and unity are – spread thy arms wide like Shah Rukh or the adjustments Sachin does while on the cricket field.


Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara is fail on so many levels. And I’ll blame only the director for this and none else. I can understand the urge to cast the you-know-whos of bollywood, in an attempt to create an epic video. I can also understand the crappy renditions (and lip sync errors) of a song that is dear to so many of us.

But I refuse to accept the way this video is shot. I once attended a movie making workshop where they taught us 10 ways in which you can ruin a video. PMSMT goes way beyond that. Heck, I’ve seen better Teleshopping commercials.

The cameraman skipped some essential lessons in college.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How does one explain a close up of Bhupen Hazarika which puts the ‘Eye of Sauron’ to shame? Not to mention the shaky vocals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jajantram Mamantram anyone?

 

Or Sivamani in a tantric avatar?

 

 

 

 

 You've watched Love in Nepal, really? Wow. And Jaani Dushman? Okay.

 

Or Sonu Nigam as a struggling-musician-cum-actor-cum-Aaj-Tak-reporter?

 

 

 

Lions are extinct, right? No? But the producer says so.

 

Or this symbolism-laden Beat-them-lions tabla?

 

 

 

In Pindari, we eat kids.

 

Or Salman doing the Hannibal Lector bit?

 

 

 

 

I can't headbang. Sorry. Am too old for that. Plus this sarod is too frail after that Air India mishap.

Or Camera Angles that turn every stringed instrument player into a rock star?

 

 

 

 

This is the continuum keyboard. Yes. It is about time you googled that.

Or A.R. Rehman juxtaposed against a Solar Water heater? There is a hidden message here somewhere.

 

 

 

 

The Song of India. Hmm. Like The Times of India? That way?

Imma gonna let you finish PMS, but Lata ji’s Vande Mataram will forever be My Song of India.

 

 

 

 


Almost everybody who has come across this video has cursed the makers. But every cloud has a silver lining, so does this video:

Five things that I learned from PMS:

 

1. Aditya Pancholi has an evil twin:

At least the location is good.

I had not read Krish’s post when I first saw this video and I was shocked to find Aditya Pancholi there. Turns out that he is Vikram – Aditya Pancholi’s kumbh-brother.

 

 

 

2. Carrom is the official Old-Age-Home sport:

Can we go in now?

Munna Bhai brought this to the fore and PMS confirms it – Carrom is the official sport for the Old-Age-Homes. And they are always together, out in the garden, on plastic chairs, trying to understand why is this fellow overacting?

 

 

3. Lip-syncing is gender neutral:

If this had been any longer, I'd have roped Farah in too.

In a hurry to squeeze in the Sports and the Defence fellows in the last few minutes of this glamsham video, the director proves that Biachung or KJ singing in a lady’s voice is perfectly normal. Ofcourse it is. No?

 

 

 

4. The Electric Guitar can also run on AA size Batteries:

Arjun Rampal did better than you. Go watch Rock On again. Duffer.

I understand guitars as much as Jacky Bhagnani understands acting and Jugal Hansraj direction. But really, Strings have an amplifier setup in open-air shots. Even Himess does better in Karzzz.

 

 

 

5. We have mastered the Picture-in-Picture Technology:

I have no idea what's going on behind my back.

If James Cameron is the king of 3D animation, we are the leaders in P-i-P technology. So what if it looks terribly cheesy, straight out of those Godzilla movies?

 

 

 


But criticism apart, I actually liked PMS in bits and pieces.

10 Reasons why I liked PMS:

1. No Mallika Sherawat:

Mallika ala re ala.. zara dharti sambhal brijbala..

I was almost expecting Mallika Sherawat to pop up in the video. You know, she is the epitome of patriotism and all. As @abtony observed, she was draped in a US flag on our Republic Day. Not that we are judging her, after all she was the one who introduced Twitter to Indians. Or was it Shashi Tharoor?

 

 

2. A fleeting mention of Sand Art:

iLike.

In a video replete with examples of inherited celebdom, Sudarsan Pattnaik’s (I am assuming it was him) Sand sculptures come as a welcome relief.

 

 

3. No MSD, Sehwag or even Sachin:

Cricket can lift Hockey on its shoulders too. After killing it that is.

For a change, they didn’t include cricketers in a patriotic video. Not that they did justice to other sports, giving stars like Saina a blink-and-you-will-miss role. But the croaky preaching of Sehwag and Dhoni looks good only in Chyavanprash Advertisements. As for Sachin, well, Bal Thakarey would have boycotted the video then, no?

 

 

4. Kids with sensory disability:

This isn't the Amul Macho ad shoot? Damn. Using kids with sensory disability was actually a very good idea. But they had to ruin it with a Salman-is-the-next-MJ routine. In a ragged jeans torn in all the wrong places and a Nirma white baniyaan(even though they were playing football) – Salman is a clear misfit(both ethically and visually)

 

 

5. A fully dressed Shilpa Shetty:

I didn't ask for these mirrors. Ask the producer. The one in the vanity van is big enough.

I had half expected Shilpa Shetty to be in her Rajasthan Royals avatar, wearing a ghaghra choli, doing the Ila arun bit for the country. But marriage and yoga have had their effect on her. Thankfully.

 

 

6. Gurdaas Mann: iLike.

One word. Respect. Not only does he bring the naive punjabi charisma to his bits of the song, he also shows the choreographers that you can express devotion without spreading your arms. Imagine Mika in his place. *shudders*

 

 

 

7. Atul Kulkarni: Aga bai ata kai karayecha aahe?

While the country still equates Marathi culture to Fishermen thanks to decades of stereotyping(thru dhagala lagli kala, aika daaji ba and much more), Atul Kulkarni brings some gravity to the video. Though even he appears clueless, to some extent, as to what is he supposed to do.

 

 

8. No Rakhi Sawant or Rahul Mahajan:

Don't. even. think. about. it.

If TRPs are to be considered, Ms. Sawant and Mr. Mahajan could have been here. Maybe even Vindoo. Because that is what the new India is about. Flash celebrities. Thankfully the video doesn’t stoop to those levels.

 

 

 

9. Deepika Padukone:

They don't have a National award for this?Don’t get me wrong here. Deepika’s contribution to Indian Culture or Brand India is akin to KRK’s contribution to World Cinema. But this sequence reminded me of the Lyril Advertisements, you know. So am giving her some points for induced nostalgia. And she looked less Savita-bhabhi-sh than Ass-worrier Ray.

 

 

10. Zakir Hussein:

iLike.

He is as timeless as his music. or his hairstyle. But I almost expected him to say ‘Wah Taaj’ at the end of it.

 

 

 

 


To quote one Agent Smith, Phir Mile Sur is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of change. And changed we have.

In 1988 we were talking to the people of the country through Doordarshan. In 2010 we are talking to the world through our movies and our channels. PMS talks of a new India.  Where kids don’t want to be astronauts anymore, they want to be roadies. Where patriotism and jingoism go hand in hand. Where you can sell anything and everything– be it peace or patriotism.

It is unfair to compare PMS with Mile Sur. Mile sur was a fresh concept, a wakeup call of sorts. PMS is a rude reminder, of how times have changed. Mile Sur had characters, Om Puri playing a Punjabi, Kamal Hassan never opened his arms, Arun Lal walked out of a Metro. PMS has celebrities. So everyone is playing themselves. There is no central thought, there aren’t any messages to take. You don’t see the farmer, the mahout, the auto-wallahs and the dabba-wallahs – you see people who endorse soaps and shampoos and bikes. It is pretence in its sweetest avatar. One celebrity at a time.

Has PMS tarnished my memory of Mile Sur Mera Tumhara? No. Thanks to Youtube, it hasn’t. Will I forgive them for making this video? Yes. If I can forgive Ram Gopal Verma for Aag and Himess for Karzzz, I think I’ll forgive them for PMS.

Amen.


P.S.: After reading Krish Ashok’s and MojoRojo’s posts, I was in two minds, whether to go with this post or not. If you haven’t read them till now(which is highly unlikely), go read them. They’ve almost covered everything that could have been said about PMS. You can also read these posts that I came across here, here and here.

Disclaimer: I know the preamble to the Constitution by heart, can recite the Indian pledge without googling and can tell  you the names of Savita Bhabhi’s episodes in chronological order. If that doesn’t make me an Indian, appreciating Phir Mile Sur surely won’t.


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48 Comments »

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  1. As a woman- I can say Wah Ustad! to the PMS analogy. This video is like Aunty Flo- you say NAHIIIIIII but she will come visiting you anyway and terrorise the bejesus out of you. Apple releases iPAD, Republic Day pe PMS ho raha hai. Ghor Kalyug, Issay! Ghor Kalyug!

    • Well, for the record, I decided the title of the post before the iPad launch. 😛
      I guess I should have added a ‘necessary evil’ analogy too. But on the positive side, this video helped everyone relive the original once again. So.. #win

  2. PMS? Hahaha. Krish Ashok covered it in its entirety but this was a fun read too. PMS #fail

    • Since PMSMT and MSMT 2.0 were taken, I thought PMS would be an apt title. PMS #fail indeed but like I said, if it helped us relive the original, I’ll consider it partly #win. 😀
      Thanks for the comment!

  3. Good stuff.. you’re consistent.. wish the PMS guys were as consistent. Jokes apart we had issues with the old one too.. but we were much more tolerant then.

    • Yes. I realized that last night. Saw the old version again and again. But I guess that tolerance existed because the concept was unique then. These guys took a huge risk riding piggyback on the original’s charisma. I think you’ll agree if I say that this was more lopsided than the original.

      As for consistency, aaj hai.. kal nahi hai.. parson phir hai.. 😀

      *Nice to see you here, am pleasantly surprised that you jog into non-twitter territories once in a while*

  4. Damn awesome! Heh! They literally ruined it. Aamir Khan singing in a completely diverted tune was the worst. Moreover, they played for like the whole day which made people pissed off!

    • I think Aamir still hasn’t come out of his pedantic acting, every time he faces the camera, he has to teach something. But there were worse visuals in the song.. Thankfully I only had to go thru it some 20 times thanks to this post. 😐

  5. Very well written!

    PMSMT is just a very poor imitation of the Original one. One analogy that i can think of is Sholay vs RGV ki Aag 😀

    • Come on, it wasn’t that bad. 😀

  6. One Word – Awefome. I am very happy that you decided to post this. Its as enjoyable as krishnashok’s
    Kudos!
    Best part – Why I Like/Dislike

  7. My small “tribute” to PMS – http://serious–fun.blogspot.com/2010/01/mile-sur-mera-tumhara.html 😀

  8. Fantastic post !! I loved the cartoon section… !!!! while I havent seen the full video still… yes… there are some likes and disklikes.. !!!!!!

    what horrified me was Salman Khan… didnt the man drink and drive over some people… !!!!! how can those people come in such songs !!!!! i was shocked beyond words !!!!

    • Thanks Hitchy,
      The cartoon was the only thing I was apprehensive about, at the cost of being repetitive, I went ahead and published it. But I think it came out ok.
      Don’t waste your time on the new one. Utni der mein purana wala teen bar dekh sakte. And as for Salman, I could have tolerated him if he hadn’t gone over the top.

  9. great post! do agree with you here. the original Mile Sur lives on…

    • Both will live I guess, but only one will be remembered for the right reasons.

  10. ‘Pretence in its sweetest avatar’- So true!

  11. What have I told not to upload them while I am still at work? Five things that I learned from PMS…I was so amuzed, that I had to get out a bit…:P Bravo. 🙂

    • I’ll keep that in mind the next time. 🙂

  12. Come on! just because other people have done it , it doesnt mean u cant write about it! 🙂 everyone has a different sense of humor. 🙂 loved the post.

    • I don’t like to be repetitive. Which sort of happened with the comic, the idea was almost similar. But I think the lessons that I learnt from PMS are very close to my heart and made all the difference.. 😛
      Cheers!

      *P.S.: Tu sab ke blogs padhna kaise manage karti hai?, I suck at it. 😐 *

  13. My two bits:-

    Sachin should have been thereif we are talking of nation here:) and he is one of the greatest indian icon.
    Salman khan (though you would get a kick from me for maligning him in the public), surprisingly gets the best part in the video. Nice act if you see the whole video (21 times 😉 )..

    Sonu nigaam or nigam or Niiigam or watever gets the worst deal..The surrounding extras seem clueless:)

    The whole write up is one hilarious read as always:).

    Keep rocking
    Sid

    • Bhai! Sallu bhai ke liye I have immense respect, because he has a receding hairline like me and because he is Malaika Arora’s Jeth.. 😛

      Anyway..

      I agree that Salman had the best deal. He could have made better use of it. And Sonu Nigam rawks! What movements! I mean had his body parts not moved, we’d never have known the intricacies of the rhythm. and I am sure Raju Srivastava will make a script out of that ‘extras’ bit.. 😀

  14. “The Electric Guitar can also run on AA size Batteries” ROFL .. I haven’t seen the video yet, I don’t think I want to ..this post tells me everything I need to know 🙂

    • Haha. Yes.. That is one glaring mistake, not to mention(as Krish Ashok puts it so aptly), his London Dreams style pose with the guitar. But you should see the video. Please. For the sake of National Integration, no?

  15. waah waah, janab bahaut accha hai, awesome post, Original “Mile Sur Mera Tumhara….” will be the Best always 🙂
    Keep Writing, and making people laugh 🙂
    Regards
    Harshita

    • Thank for the comment re..

  16. Good work Shanty. I absolutely love it! I have not read the other 2 posts though, but this one is great. 🙂 No more ‘hair’-fall. 🙂

    • Oh you must read the other two.. if you liked this, you’ll probably love them too.. 😀

  17. Haha! You pointed out some very unique points. And yeah, when Zakir Hussain didn’t say “Wah Taj!” I felt a little empty. 😛

    • And I expected Amitabh to say Zandu balm or something.. sigh..

  18. The best part about bad movies and videos is that they make good reviews! Your post is not only informative but also hilarious. However, i take PMS as a new advertising model. Where the Bollywood celebs advertise in between a few seconds of the PMS video. PMS is awesome!

    • Informative? Really? Haha.. I actually didn’t intend it to be so but thanks anyway! 🙂
      And yes, it actually looks like a revenue model.

  19. SUUPEEER!!! Enjoyed immensely!

    • Thank you sire! Planning to do a Shenoy soon.. haven’t mustered up enough courage so far.. 😀

  20. Gr8 post buddy!! Wonderfully written… You have well-criticized the features of the album that made it a disaster.. and also mentioned those features which were likable.
    I loved Deepika saying : I’ve worked with SRK. I know how to spread my arms. and Ranbir saying: If DP can do it, so can I.
    And yah.., although for different reasons, but even I loved Deepika in the song.

    • Thanks Kedar. I would have loved Deepika too, had she been there with her father *skimpy dresses aside* 😀

  21. True.. I agree with you…

    Phir Mile Sur – Yet another perspective
    http://sunilm.net/blog

  22. Wonderful take! Cant say any more about the video though! you’ve said it all, and oh so correctly 😛

    • Haha. Thanks! Though I feel there is more ripping potential even the video.. 😀

  23. Meandered in through Blogadda! And Am I glad I did? TOTALLY! Woah! What an analogy! I hated the Ver 2.0(Phir Mile Sur) the moment I first saw it! The makers decided to torture people for 16 long minutes that seem never ending! Why couldn’t they just put all actors in one frame and finish it off?? Every now and then there is this arm spreading that makes one wonder if that is how you express your love towards your country! Damn! It’s your country for God’s sake not your bf/gf/spouse! All in all fantastic post! Damn the makers of Phir mile sur!

    • Whoa! Somebody’s angry! 😀
      Well, shit happens. I guess the makers took a big risk and it partially bombed. In the process they successfully ruined our memories. And the arm spreading is here to stay.

      Glad you liked the post. Read the other ones too, your mood will instantly be elevated.

      Cheers!

  24. Lol..on buffering bit,
    the best thing crappy movies generate r spoofs ..and pmsmt generated is this post.Though you may say others have blogged but i found urs most enjoyable among the three u mentiond
    Haha..so right earlier miley sur was unaffected by whatever day it was..on..
    this one ..sonu nigam aaj tak shot..LOL over tantrik sivamani..yes..ur killer line..pip tech
    deepika lookd as if she is gonna commit suicide in water,,the vedio was more about exalting indiv status than bout unity..hahaha..waah taj bit was missed

    • Haha.. PMS is fodder for thought eh? and Thanks for the comment.. I enjoyed the other two a lot.. especially Mojorojo’s.. but to each his/her won I guess..

      Tantrik shivmani was such an odd shot.. pissed me totally.. and Sonu Nigam.. wtf was he trying to do.. PIP Tech.. well.. 🙂
      I actually liked Dipika.. dunno why.. maybe its the legs.. not sure..

      The only spirit of unity in the video was looking dumb.. everybody tried hard to achieve that..

      Thanks for the comment again!

  25. Thank God you posted!!!

    You summed it up well,the good and the bad.
    Thanks!!

    • Thanks for the comment Vidya.


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