Zeitgeist #1

January 26, 2010 at 1:05 am | Posted in Bhery Phunny | 16 Comments
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Zeitgeist – (from German Zeit- time and Geist- spirit) is "the spirit of the times" and/or "the spirit of the age." Zeitgeist is the general cultural, intellectual, ethical,spiritual, and/or political climate within a nation or even specific groups, along with the general ambience, morals, and sociocultural direction or mood of an era (similar to the English word mainstream ortrend). – Wikipedia

 

In my opinion, the most intelligent people on earth (after BCCI and Hockey India’s officials) are the folks at Google.

One fine day, they decided that they’ll use the aggregation of millions of search queries they receive every day to reveals this spirit, the spirit of our times. They were so fascinated by the idea that they’ve been doing this every year. So at the end of each year, you get an in-your-face account of the stupidity of the world – the spirit of our age.

 

zeitgeist2009_logo

For example, you’ll  learn that Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson have been the most searched women, worldwide from 2001 to 2005 after which Google almost gave up tracking them. (Later I guess, Paris Hilton dethroned them). Or that in 2007, the most important question after ‘Who is God?’ was ‘Who is who’. That in 2009, ‘Lady Gaga’ was more popular than ‘Windows 7’.

Then there are some mindboggling revelations about the ‘Indian spirit of the times’.  Sample this -  in 2009, Kambaqt Ishq was the second most popular search query.(!!!) Sarah Palin was more popular than Barack Obama, which is actually true . After much analysis, Google concluded that – “Google Zeitgeist 2009 is a real reflection of the spirit of the nation – which saw all the ups and downs and yet remained true to its love for entertainment, peace and hope!

Yeah, right.

 

But then, everybody loves Raymond Google. So if they say that search queries reveal the spirit of the times, then it must be so. Who are we to disagree with the company that gave us the biggest invention of all times –  Google wave Mail or Gmail *which half of people of Amethi assume to be Gandhi Mail*

So, coming to the point, I, as a true follower of the Google way of life – decided to establish a Zeitgeist using the statistics of this blog. If this is what the world is searching for, doomsday (2012) is by all means near. Have a look.

 

1. Most Popular:  Middle Finger

Middle finger is one of the most important organs of the body. It is mainly an instrument of expression which is sometimes used to carry out meaningless tasks like gripping, voting, sex etc. So when people search for middle finger, I am not surprised. Really. Not….

 

kid throws the middle finger 

Like kids throw a ball, or a toy, that way? 

 

middle finger explosion

This would be one unsuccessful suicide bomber, I am sure

 

birds make middle finger

Yes, and Gods play air-hockey

 

And the bumper prize goes to: Cat Middle Finger

This has to be one tech-savvy LOLcat. And guess what, we’ve found her.

 

middle_finger

 

2. Popular: Harry Potter

Now who doesn’t know J K Rowling? She is to the world, what Chetan Bhagat is to India. Ok, bad analogy but the fact is that I like reading Harry Potter books. I’ve read all seven of them and I am not ashamed of it. JKR’s writing prowess is none of my business and as long as she keeps writing books that has something to do with castles and magical mirrors, I’ll keep reading them. But let us not digress.

Since they(JKR, Harry, Hermione and Ron) are so popular, a lot of search queries are made looking for Potter-fiction and wallpapers, updates on the sequels and so on.

But somewhere down the line, these queries become ‘queer-ies’, for example:

 

harry ron kissing

I agree that JKR revealed that Dumbledore is gay and everything and that Daniel Radcliffe did go nude and all for a play that was titled ‘Equus’ (another word for Horse). But this is stretching your imagination really far. *farther than the goat jokes that JKR plugged into the book*

 

Again, we have a winner: Hermione needs to pee

 – Is this a statement or a question? Whatever it is, this is as moronic as Japanese porn

 

3. Somewhat Popular:  Cartoons

You mention Cartoon Network in one post and people looking for stuff like the following land on your blog:

sissy cartoon

I really don’t know what this guy was looking for

 

Gay cartoon network

Rule no. 34 in action, clearly.

 

Rakhi Sawant Cartoon

Aren’t they the same thing?

 

On a possibly related note, someone also landed here searching for:- “rakhi sawant fuk imeg”. Assuming such a thing really existed, do you really want to see it? Really? No, Really?

 

Honorary Mentions:

It is really difficult to categorize everything so here are some honorary mentions. Feel free to gross out or be blinded by the awesomeness:

 

shilpa shetty beliefs on alcohol

Just when I had lost all hope in the World, a silver lining appears. While the rest of the country is searching for ‘Shilpa shetty hot videos’ and ‘’Shilpa navel’ – here is someone who agrees that even Bollywood actresses have an organ called the Brain(though it might be vestigial in a few of them) and cares about their beliefs.

 

kidney stone bladder exit speed

I should have measured it when the stone came out. Damn. Next time, surely. It is not everyday that a physicist suffers from a Kidney Stone. I understand.

 

in which state arabian sea is ?

I don’t know that but I can tell you where Geographia is. *and no ‘liquid state’ jokes in the comments, please.*

 

sleeper cell pyar ho gaya

Another misguided terrorist. Sigh.

 

manmohan singh thinking

This needs a disambiguation. Sonia Gandhi thinking.

fuck with leady patient and wardboy

I can sense some radioactive sex here, leady patient and all.

 

general thought for aunty in Marathi

This is one confused wannbe manoos.

 

khan bow and arrow

No, this isn’t about Veer. Nor is it about a legendary duel between Aamir ‘Vacuum Cleaner’ Khan and Shahrukh ‘Crater’ Khan. This is probably about Ghengis Khan. 

 

difference between want and need

I want a State. I need a life. Clear?

 

hero puch

This is something very close to my heart *and bums*. Will blog about it someday. But people really search for that? On Google? Wow.

 

sania mirza balls

I am prepared to give this guy a benefit-of-doubt.

 

i want write comments to yash raj chopra

This is for the chap who has been visiting this blog and leaving comments asking if I know someone in the YRF camp so that I can arrange him a job. If you are reading this, I am sorry brother, I am not related to YRF in any way and considering that they are making movies like ‘Pyaar Impossible’, I suggest that you stay away from them too.

 

i am not dead Indian

I am including this in the list because of the variety of results you get when you search this in Google. It gives results like – Armaan not dead, Zero not dead, Indian Samosa Casserole, Monty Python, a scorpio called Zippy not dead – results as varied as BSNL’s broadband plans.

 

and to round it off:

addha pauua

For the uninitiated Addha pauua stands for different quantities of country liquor. An addha is half a bottle, a pauua is a quarter, or so I am told.

 

So I think, you now have a general idea of ‘the spirit of our times’. I, in my special way, have doubled these keywords on this blog which in turn will attract even lamer search queries, which of course translates to more food for blog posts.  

If you’ve survived so far, you must really love me or you might be hoping that I’d plug a photo of Shilpa Shetty here. In any case, till saner times return, Go Google.


Disclaimer:

This post isn’t a work of fiction but any resemblance to any person, place, state or celebrity(or their body parts) is still purely co-incidental *to be read aloud in a very matter-of-fact tone*

Also, if you were responsible for one of these searches, you can contact the author and claim credit for the same.


Trivia:

This post hardly involved any research but here are two articles that I found interesting:

Hairy Otter and the Kidney Stone

Tiny Foes

– and my tale of the Bermuda Triangle – Stoned.

Also, thanks to this poem, this blog tends to attract a lot of mathematical queries. Like -  

  • reunion vector
  • congruent lines with definition
  • what does three out five mean in volley
  • parallels lines

I’d like to clarify that mathematics isn’t my strongest subject.  It used to be once upon a time when I was class 2-c. But after I repeatedly failed to memorize the table of 13, my marks and interest in mathematics has plummeted. Please don’t waste your time here.

Also if you have more time to waste, you can try reading this, this and this – posts which are responsible for most of these keywords.


16 Comments »

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  1. ROFL !! Soooper post… !!!!!!! Raymond err…. Google rocks !!!!!!!

    one of the google search items to reach my blog was – My wife is lazy and boring !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I mean this is like wrecking a man’s peaceful life !!!!!! Thank god my wife doesnt read my blog !!!! PHEW !!!!!!

    Google can cause Catastrophe !!!!! 😛 😛 LITERALLY !!!! :LOL:

    • Google can actually be catastrophic. Also, my blog has a ‘Marry me’ page. I am so glad my girl doesn’t read my blog too.. 😀

  2. brother yours is as clean as ‘cutting chai cup’ as compared to mine. and what a coincidence! i just did a similar post yesterday 😛
    http://desininja.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/tit-bit/

    great minds think alike 🙄

    • Haha! There is some telepathy there! But your list floored me. The ‘Desi’ keyword rawks! I am planning to change the title here to There goes a desi thought.. 😛

  3. […] detailed report was earlier done by @flyyoufools here. Another victim was @tantanoo , his story here. If you have any such stories, please […]

  4. LOL 😀 the three top most search words for my blog are “baby girl”, lara croft and tomb raider!!

    • Aha! Baby girl… ahem ahem.. 😛

  5. Seriously, there is somebody commenting on ur blog for a job?!! Unfuckinbelievable, even by the average dehati googler’s standards. Loved this post, dude.
    – @ilcapourgu

    • Yes. I don’t blame the fellow though. He was desperate enough to leave his numbers. I really hope he has found work or something.

      Thanks for the comment!

  6. Ahahahahahahaha, as hilarious as it was, what has me bowing in respect is the fact that you put this together. Must have been a lot of work. Or maybe I’m just a lazy, lazy blogger.

    First time here, will keep coming!

    P.S. You know what reallly had me laughing? Sania Mirza balls.

    *giggle*

    • This was actually the fastest post. Wrote it in a deadline-ish manner. I used to be a lazy blogger too but Twitter kinda changed things. And as for Sania Mirza balls.. Your guess is as good as mine.. 😛

  7. ROBL…v good one… If you look at the latest stats you might see ‘ Arjun Rampal who” topping the search

    • Haha! Bingo! I actually liked Arjun Rampal before he decided that he won’t use his face. Tch tch.

  8. Gawd! Taht was Hilarious!!

    • Thank you! There is so much awesomeness behind the scenes too.. I love the blogging world.. 😀

  9. ROFL…!! 😀


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